Tips for Keeping Long Distance Marriage

So if I had been told during my younger years that my husband and I would live in separate cities, I would have rebuked it and said it wasn’t possible but you never know with life. When we’re busy making our plans, God already knows exactly what He has in store for us.

Fast forward to a couple of years later, I’m married and hubby has to go live and work in another country, away from me. That was the hardest time of my life, I felt so bad, abandoned and confused. Friends would tell me I wasn’t thinking right for even getting into that kind of relationship, some even advised me to move back to Nigeria where I have family, instead of living in a country with no family member. Of course I didn’t even pay attention to them, despite the horror stories I heard about women losing heir marriages to other women as a result of distance, I was convinced that my case was different from the others they had mentioned.

If I say being far from each other has been easy, I would be lying because it is hard!!!! I mean, having to live like a spinster after one is married is not easy.

Well, I have had people ask me how hubby and I manage to remain sane in this unusual situation, so I have here a list of things we did in order to keep the fire burning. This however, is not an exhaustive list.

  1. Communication: We all must have heard by now that “communication is the engine that keeps the wheel of any relationship moving.” (That’s a quote from me!!! Lol). Thank God for technology!!!, it has made it so easy to communicate with people who are faraway. Unlike years ago, communicating with folks is a no-brainer these days. My hubby and I usually video chat as many times as possible. Now, while I understand that chatting or video calls are not the same with the presence of a loved one, they’re definitely better that nothing. Our favorite video call apps are Face time and Skype.
  2. Words of Encouragement: We often encourage each other by reminding ourselves that this is just a passing phase of our lives. We try not to get exasperated with one another but often try to remain at peace.
  3. Praying together: To some people, this might seem odd, but as a family with Christ as it’s foundation, we try as much as we can to pray together on the phone. I’m not saying we do this every single day. sometimes life happens, we both get too busy and we pray individually, but we’re always conscious about praying together.
  4. Acts of love: When this happens, I feel very loved and appreciated and special. Sometimes, my husband just drops a note in my inbox with sweet words that would make any lady giggle, and of course I do the same for him.
  5. Trust: Even a normal relationship will be headed for the rocks if there is no trust between the couple. This is something every couple should possess no matter what. For me, I cherish trust so much because it just makes me feel like I’m accountable and answerable to someone.

Like I said earlier, this list is not an exhaustive one, let me know in the comment section below if you have ever being in a long distance relationship, and how you managed to keep it.

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