Like most little girls out there, I grew up playing with dolls and just picturing myself being the mom of those adorable things, sometimes my sisters and I would play house and I’all be a parent (mom or dad). Being a mother has a been my dream for as long as I can remember. The desire to become married and have children became even stronger when I reached my 20’s, that desire became so strong that I almost got married to the wrong person, just so I could start a family and start popping out those babies. I wasn’t thinking about my own happiness at the time. Isn’t it funny how thoughtless we tend to be when we’re desperate about something? My own desperation almost got the best of me by getting me into marriage with a counterfeit and not with my God ordained husband. I want you to know that for every blessing, there is a counterfeit and if we’re not careful we fall for the counterfeit, that’s why God tells us expressly to “test all spirits”.
On a fateful morning after experiencing a horrendous pain on the lower part of my abdomen, I went to see a gynecologist. After series of tests and ultrasounds it was discovered that I had something called ovarian cyst, which I had no idea what it was. Since I was hearing that name for the very first time, I didn’t know what to think of it so I asked the doctor for explanations but he spoke about it very lightly and told me it was normal, saying the cysts would dissolve on their own.
Fast forward to a few years later, I’m married and hubby and I decide we were going to wait for at least two more years before having babies. However, I got a little bit uncomfortable when I didn’t fall pregnant, the reason being that I wasn’t on any pills nor patches, we were just being careful that’s all, so I was expecting to fall pregnant at least once during that time, but nada!!!
I’m sure someone might be asking if I still had pains, and the answer is yes!!! Once in a while I would have very excruciating pains in my lower abdomen. Once I even continued having light bleeding after my period, which landed me in a hospital for days. Series of tests were done and they couldn’t pinpoint what was the cause of the bleeding. My gynecologist said it was an incomplete abortion, the doctors at this hospital didn’t think so, so I was held at that hospital for three days and underwent series of tests just so they could figure out what led to my present situation. I was discharged after all my tests were clear.
This agony of hoping every month that I would fall pregnant has gone on and on for over three years now, it’s been such a pain. Been a TTC woman is hard, it’s an indescribable feeling so only those who have gone through or are currently going through it will understand. Baby showers and pregnancy announcements from other women become more of a nightmare, not because one is jealous but because of how uncomfortable one feels with such news and even more uncomfortable when you attend. It almost becomes like everyone around you is blessed except you, like everyone is entitled to having children but you. It’s really an awkward feeling that cannot be explained.
Some months ago I had to undergo surgery. It was a minor one and my recovery was quite rapid, which I give thanks to God for. Now as it is, hubby and I are just staying hopeful and having faith in God who is the doer of all things. We strongly believe that He will not allow us to be put to shame because we trust in Him. We also strongly have faith that we will be parents. We may not know exactly when that will happen but deep down our hearts we’re positive that it will happen and that we will have our best laugh.
Well, I have a lot to write that will fill pages of a book and I don’t want to make this “too long” of a blog.
Have you been TTCing? How long have you been in this journey? I would love to hear your story and/or testimony!!! Also if you would love to share your testimony on this blog, you’re free to do so. Send me an email on firstname.lastname@example.org and I’ll add you so you can have free access to this blog and write.