It’s not our anniversary or anything like that, I just want to share with all of you some of the things I have learned from my marriage. Oh, that’s hubby and me in the picture above.
I would not be honest if I said marriage hasn’t taught me any lessons. When I was single I would hear people say “Marriage is the only institution from which you never graduate.” This sounded surreal at the time and I thought they were all exaggerating, I thought to myself “It can’t be as hard as they make it seem.” Having been with my husband for five years now, I can honestly say they weren’t far from the truth. Not only is marriage the only institution from which you never graduate, it is also the hardest of all the institutions out there. It takes a lot of hard work, mature minds, similar values and above all, God to make it work. I just want to share with you all the lessons that I have learned the hard way.
1. Teamwork: As a single lady, you could just get up one day and make a random decision without being questioned by anyone. All that completely changes once you say “I do”. I really struggled in this area and it took some time for me to really understand that I’m not in this alone, but the good thing is that I finally got it and now the mutual decision thingy just comes naturally. Teamwork is the backbone of every successful marriage.
2. Patience: I had always considered myself a patient person until I got married. Getting married has taken that virtue to a whole new level. In marriage, you will find yourself tolerating things that you never would have been able to stand in a relationship. The only thing that I can’t and no one should ever tolerate in a marriage is abuse, and abuse comes in different forms; physical, verbal or emotional. Once I got married, I found myself trying to make adjustments in different areas in order to accommodate my spouse. Let’s face it, we all grow up in different homes and backgrounds, so conflicts will always exist in certain areas. My husband for instance wanted his privacy and got offended when I asked him what he was doing, and that’s because he grew up in a home where they all had their privacy. On the other hand, I never found it strange if he asked me what I was doing because I grew up in a smaller home where my siblings and I did everything together. We both came to an understanding and now we have learned how to accommodate each other, we have even changed each other in some ways!!
3. Malicious: This definitely may not apply to everyone. I used to be that lady that gave my boyfriend the silent treatment when he got on my nerves. I just loved what the silent treatment did to the people I dated, it made them feel uncomfortable and they would do anything just to be in my good books again. Well, marriage has taught me differently, I can’t do that to the man I’m going to spend the rest of my life with!! I have tried it in the past but have ended up hurting myself by tossing and turning on the bed and saying bye to sleep😂 and that’s because when you get married, you literally become one so hurting your spouse is as good as hurting yourself. Benjamin and I try our best now to resolve all pending issues and pray for God to soften our hearts towards one another. That’s the only way, because humanly speaking, it gets tough sometimes.
4. Humility: This one is very important for the success of every marriage. We have to come down from our high horses. Pride is very dangerous in any relationship and most especially in marriage. I totally believe that we are called to serve one another on earth, be it in marriage or at our places of work. I have come to a place where when I serve my husband, I see it as serving the Lord. At the beginning of our marriage, I would whine and complain each time I did a chore or ran an errand for Benjamin but not anymore. Service in marriage doesn’t just apply to one person, it applies to both parties. I think our women are already doing a good job and I think the men have to step up their game and start serving their wives better. 😉
5. Institution of Learning: Finally, I have learned that marriage is an institution of learning where you learn from the marriage itself and from your spouse. Personally, being married to this wonderful man has been such a blessing!! As an extrovert, expressing himself has never being a problem and that’s something he has taught me, he has taught me to live fearlessly and not be bothered about what people say or think about me, he has taught me to be persistent and not give up easily. I have also taught him many things. In short, we are a blessing to each other and I think every couple has a lot to learn from each other if they stick together long enough without giving up.
Are you married or were you married? What lessons have you learned in marriage? What behaviors have you unlearned?