Hey lovelies!!! Welcome back to my blog. Over the years I have noticed that most ladies walk into a marriage having some misconceptions at the back of their minds. Most of these misconceptions are very common among young ladies who over the years have become desperate for marriage. I came up with four of these misconceptions and they are:
1. Marriage is the Best Thing: Seeing photos and videos of women smiling and walking down the aisle and of course watching so many Hollywood fantasies has all made a lot of ladies have this false notion that marriage is the best thing that could ever happen to them. This general misconception also comes from the fact that for centuries many societies have placed more value on marriage than any other milestone in a woman’s life. If you’re reading this and you’ve always had this mindset, I’m sorry to burst your bubble. While marriage is definitely a good thing and a gift that was given to us by God at creation, it is not in itself the best thing that could happen to you, the two parties involved in a marriage relationship are responsible for making the union what it will or will not be. For example, God didn’t intend for married couples to abuse each other physically and emotionally. So while for some, marriage is the best thing that has happened to them, for others it’s definitely not. As a matter of fact, I strongly believe that some individuals would have been better off had they remained single. Even the apostle Paul mentioned it in the Bible. Personally, I value marriage a lot, but in this age and time, the birth of a business, a degree, the welcoming of a child (by birth or adoption), and many other life achievements could very well be the best thing that could happen to a woman. Having said that, I believe for any marriage to thrive, the hand of God has to rest mightily on it, He has to be at the center, the couple has to be very humble and the Holy Spirit has to direct the affairs of the home.
2. An End to Emotional Problems: Going into marriage with all of your emotional garbage is the worst mistake ever!! Most unmarried women tend to think that once they get married their emotional problems would be solved, but that never happens. Before taking that bold step of saying “I do” to your sweetheart, making sure you clean yourself up of all the pain from heartbreaks will go a long way in ensuring that the relationship is as healthy as it can and should be and you’re starting on a new slate. When emotional pains are not properly dealt with, the other party will have to bear unnecessary load that has been put on him, and this would be unhealthy for the union. I have also come to understand husbands cannot solve all of our women problems. For me, I have learned to lean completely on God even for my emotional problems. I have come to the realization that my husband cannot do all for me emotionally, just like he cannot do everything for me spiritually and financially. Sometimes when I have no peace, only the Holy Spirit steps in and fills my heart with the exact kind of peace I need. Granted, husbands have been given the role of the head in the family just like Christ is the head of the church, however, being the humans that they are, they cannot meet every need, only God can because He is our ultimate Provider.
3. The Change Game: Some women still believe that they can change a man. Listen, grown ups cannot be changed by anyone, they change when they make up their minds. Loving a man is something but changing him is a whole different ball game, it is completely impossible. So if you’re in love with someone and there are some things about them that you cannot tolerate, your best bet would be to ask yourself why you love them in the first place, can you live with them despite their excesses? Your only solution would be to either get married to them anyways, or better still you can call it quits while you can because a broken relationship is always better than a broken marriage. If you’re already in a marriage where your husband is not a believer for example, nagging him will make things worse for your marriage, the Bible says in 1 Peter 3:1 that “Your godly behavior or character will win him over.”
4. Love after Marriage: As surreal as it might sound, there are actually women who out of desperation, get married to men just because. I wish I didn’t have to blame society again, but the truth is, our society has placed so much pressure on women, so much so that we now see women getting married just to please family members who won’t be there for them when the chips are down, or just to buy respect from others. Love is no more the core ingredient for marriage anymore. What I find very saddening is that some ladies think love will come out of no where once they get married. While this is sometimes true for some lucky ones, the risk is too much. I mean, what if you never love him like you thought you would? Would you rather become miserable in a loveless marriage or would you rather wait for love to happen? Think about it.
What picture do you have in your mind about marriage? If you’re already married, which of the above misconceptions did you have before marriage?
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